5 signs that your partner may be lying about finances - ​Does he/she change the topic when you talk about money? (2024)

FAQs

What to do if your partner lies about finances? ›

Determine If This Behavior Is a Deal Breaker

The counselor can help you discuss possible solutions, mediate between the two of you and even help you determine whether it is time for you to end the relationship. Lying about finances, and hiding debt and other issues break trust, and it can take time to repair.

Kendrick says, "the chief reasons people lie about money to their partners are pragmatism, control, guilt, and fear. The pragmatic lie may result from planning an eventual split and not wanting the other to know how much money is available."

If you find that your partner is hiding accounts from you, such as credit cards, savings or investments, this can be a breach of trust and a major red flag. You don't want to find out they have secret debt by a debt collector showing up at your door.

If you notice your partner has changed money habits, such as spending in secret or in ways you are not used to, it may be a sign of financial infidelity, especially if these changes feel out of place or awkward.

Set regular times to discuss finances

But if it hasn't come up naturally in conversation, bring up money before making a big decision like moving in or getting engaged. If you're still in the early stages of your relationship, focus more on discovering if you have compatible financial values than on specific goals.

Dating Red Flag #1: Lying and dishonesty.

If they continue to lie or become defensive, it may be a sign that they are not trustworthy and could cause problems in the future.

What is the biggest red flag in any relationship? ›

Any form of violence or dangerous behavior is an immediate red flag for Schiff. "They can't channel their emotions properly in a healthy way," Schiff says. Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but if things escalate to any form of abuse — verbal, physical, emotional —it's important to remove yourself.

It should be a red flag if your spouse takes complete control of the finances or changes the passwords, so you cannot get into your accounts. If your bank statements are mailed to you, you may suddenly stop receiving them if your spouse changes your mailing address with the bank without your knowledge.

According to a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, relationship characteristics like relationship satisfaction, relationship length, and romantic love are among the top predictors of cheating within a relationship.

Signs of cheating include a partner who improves their appearance, guards their phone, changes their schedule, and fades away emotionally. Someone could display several signs of cheating and still be faithful. Regardless, any such "signs" point to a breakdown in the relationship.

Financial infidelity is when couples with combined finances lie to each other about money. Examples of financial infidelity can include hiding existing debts, excessive expenditures without notifying the other partner, and lying about the use of money.

And more than half (54%) of the people surveyed said lying about finances is equivalent to other types of lying or infidelity. “Financial infidelity is more common than people may realize and can be just as violating and hurtful as romantic infidelity,” says consumer finance and budgeting expert Andrea Woroch.

Financial infidelity is a grounds for divorce in "at fault" states and also in a no-fault divorce. Financial infidelity in a marriage, which can complicate divorce proceedings, includes behaviors such as: Concealing debt from one's spouse. Secretly making large purchases or investments.

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff. The term micro-cheating refers to small breaches of trust in a relationship that don't pass the threshold into a physical affair. For example, someone may leave their wedding ring at home when they go out alone or secretly chat with an ex-partner online.