"Entitled" woman expecting husband to pay for everything sparks fury (2024)

A woman complaining that her husband doesn't pay for everything is being berated online.

In a post shared to Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) forum on December 6, user Sleepysuzie wrote that her husband covers their bills, mortgage and food costs, as well as vacations and other joint spending.

However, the poster is annoyed that her husband doesn't offer to pay for her separate costs, as he "always says it's his responsibility to look after me."

Mumsnet users were unimpressed with the woman's attitude. In the poll attached to the post, 97 percent said the poster was "unreasonable" to expect her husband to fund everything.

Should the Man Pay for Everything in a Relationship?

A 2017 study by Pew Research Center found that men are still viewed as the financial providers in the United States (at least in heterosexual pairings).

In a poll of 4,971 Americans, 71 percent of women and 72 percent of men said that, to be a good husband or partner, a man must provide financially.

However, a 2022 study by the Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management at Cornell University in New York suggested that combining finances was the secret to a long-lasting relationship.

Researchers discovered that couples who pooled their finances were more likely to have similar life goals and a strong connection, indicators that a relationship is built to last.

Steph Wagner, national director of women and wealth at Northern Trust Wealth Management, told Newsweek that it's important to maintain an equal partnership when it comes to money.

"Don't assume that your financial habits are the same," Wagner said. "People have different habits when it comes to spending, investing and saving."

She added that acknowledging your differences when it comes to managing money is crucial, as is not letting one person make all of the financial decisions.

"For some, money may have been a source of stress and control, which might be foreign to someone who was raised in a family that talked about finances openly and equally," Wagner said.

"It helps to build awareness around the paths and experiences people have had around their finances before combining resources."

It's not only romantic relationships that can be affected by finances. A reader wrote in November to our What Should I Do? section for advice, as she's considering cutting off her family for being "unfair" with money.

Do you have a similar monetary dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

'It's a Husband's Responsibility to Look After His Wife Financially'

In her post, Sleepysuzie wrote that she has been married for two years and is expecting her first child.

When she met her husband three years ago, he made four times more money than she did. He was made redundant in January 2022, and was unemployed until two weeks ago, when he got a temporary job.

"He was getting desperate not being able to find something which paid as much as previous job, where he now only makes 2.5 times as much as me," the original poster wrote.

Despite his period of unemployment, her husband has been paying all of the bills, their mortgage and food costs, along with treats such as meals out and vacations. Her husband will also cover her expenses while she is on maternity leave, while she pays for her own clothes, gifts for her family, and costs incurred while spending time with friends.

Nevertheless, Sleepysuzie is annoyed that her husband doesn't cover small expenses when they are out and about.

"I have noticed that if we're out and I fancy, say, a packet of crisps or go past a cafe and want to grab a coffee AND he doesn't want anything, he will stand back and let me pay for myself and not even offer to pay for me," the original poster wrote.

"It's not so much that I want him to pay, rather that he sees us as so separate that he won't even offer. Like I feel it's only £2 ($2.50), and you could more than afford it."

See Also

Gen Z couples are more likely than older generations to keep finances separate. Here's why

The poster visited a dermatologist due to a mole on her arm, and was upset that her husband didn't offer to cover the cost of the appointment ($183).

"He just stood back and let me pay. He didn't even offer," the woman wrote.

"He always says it's his responsibility to look after me, but I feel like if it's anything to do with me, he won't do it, and if it's something that's for both of us or for future children, he will happily pay."

Mumsnet users struggled to take the poster seriously, with ScotlandEuropa telling her to "shut up."

"Are you always this entitled?" asked SouperNoodle.

"Did you want to be a Disney Princess when you grew up by any chance?" posted Lovageandrose.

"So you don't pay anything towards the house you live in and want him to buy literally everything for you like he's your dad? Stop it," commented TedMullins.

"Embarrassing," wrote AnneLoves Gilbert.

"He was unemployed up until two weeks ago" commented Hadjab. "He's taken a temporary job. Give him a break."

In the comments, Sleepysuzie explained that their financial situation is due to their religion, and she has no problem with being labeled "unreasonable."

"I'm going to add something here but didn't really want to but maybe it will provide some perspective," she wrote.

"I feel like Islam has enough bad press but we're both practising Muslims and the religion states it's a husband's responsibility to look after his wife financially.

"I didn't come up with this plan, it's what [my husband] is happy with. I wanted to understand how others with a similar financial situation work."

Sleepysuzie isn't alone in believing the man should foot the bill. A Redditor was accused in November of wanting her boyfriend to be her "sugar daddy," while a woman was slammed on Reddit in June for using child support from her ex to "fund her lifestyle."